Life Skills- Creating a Haven of Peace

So, if you're like me, the beginning of the year is when you are rearranging your house to redo all the stuff you did to rearrange for the holidays. It's also the time of year when you realize how much STUFF you have & you long for an oasis of calm! That's our topic for today- what it is we need, why we need it & how to get there. (Kids have lots of clutter too; less than us adults but that's because we've had longer to acquire it. Look at how much your parents have hoarded over the years. Now that's a scary thought!) I've already done a Clutter Control lesson with my daughter; later in the year I will share it with you. For now, we'll concentrate on WHY we need a calm, serene place to call our own & how we can try to create one.

1.) What comes to mind when you think of the following words? HAVEN, PEACE, CALM
Now look up the words & see what the definitions of the words actually are.
Activity: In my household, we felt that a Haven was a safe. calm place where you could go to relax & rejuvenate yourself. It was a place of safety where you felt free to be yourself. You may wish to share some places that you all feel are Havens to you where you feel safe, calm & peaceful.

2.) Why do we all need Havens, whether they be little corners in our houses, a bedroom, a garden nook or an entire house? Discuss how the world is a chaotic place full of stress, then talk about how nice it is to have a safe place to go to away from all of the pressure of the world. A Haven is a place where you can have your creativity inspired, a place where you can de-stress, a place where you have control in a life when lots of things are not in your control.
While you're talking about this, remember that YOUR home is the Haven that you create for your entire family to escape from the world. Have you filled it with Love, calm & peace? While doing the rest of these exercises with your kids, not only do you want to be thinking about creating a Haven for you in your home but also making sure that your home environment is a Haven for your entire family.

3.) If you had unlimited funds available & could do whatever you wanted, what would your ideal Haven be? Think BIG thoughts!
Activities: There are all kinds of cool ways you could do this. You can do drawings of your Haven, write about it or build a miniature/ doll house or room. You can draw house outlines in the backyard or you can draft an entire house or community. You can use a computer program to set up your own home however you want it to be. You could make a scrapbook with drawings & magazine cutouts depicting your ideal Haven. You could write a story or essay that centered on you ideal Haven & what makes it so perfect for you.

4.) Now think about the area you call your own in life. Maybe it's only a bedroom, or half a bedroom if you share with a sibling. Perhaps it's a playhouse or an area of the porch or a corner of the family room. (Some Mom's I know only have a closet to call their own but they deck it out to be their own space & that is THEIR place.) Whatever your space is, talk about what you can do to take part of your dream Haven & put part of it into your real life to help create a Haven. Maybe a favorite color on the walls or some special posters would help in your conversion. Maybe having a special area set up where they can relax & read or do homework at is what is needed. Perhaps your favorite toys nearby or pictures of your family & friends would help create your own space.
I'm not saying to give kids total free reign on how they set up & keep their space but remember that every human being needs some space to call their own, even if it's only a bed & a dresser in a room shared with other children. They need a space to collect their treasures in & a place to go to that is all their own when they need some down time. They need to have some control over their environment, or how else will they learn how to as they grow older?
Now is the time to start teaching children the importance of having a safe place that they can call their own where they can go to relax in. Of course we like them to enjoy being with the entire family in the living room. However, kids need to learn how to be by themselves sometimes, to entertain themselves, to have time alone with God. Having their own Haven to go to now will help them to relax, to create & to de-stress, & in the future it will enable them to have the tools for setting up their own homes & creating Haven for their families.

5.) Try to implement some of the ideas your kids come up with for their own personal Haven. You don't have to do lots of big things or spend lots of money. It is, however, very important that you take into account their ideas & wishes. By trying to help create at least some of their ideas, you are encouraging them & validating their opinions.

While you're at it, make sure that you have a Haven for yourself, whether it be big or small. All of us have stress & chaos in our lives; it's nice to know that there is a place where we can go & be ourselves without fear of reprimands, a place devoid of stress where our frazzled nerves can relax, rewind & rejuvenate.
God Bless You this day as you contemplate your own Haven & those of your children.-Bj